Holding On
by Rouch
Summary: Sara’s survival, search and rescue training is called upon much sooner then anyone thought
1. Collapse

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI but if I did this season would not be quite so unexciting.

a/n: The ginormous lack of GSR seems to be creating much disillusionment of late, and has motivated me to try to capture some moments we all wish would happen. This is still primarily angst because I love the drama, but definitely more fluff than usual.

Thanks to Aus for the beta read, and to Jos for enduring my CSS questions…I know, nothing to do with fanfiction, but I need to thank her somewhere

Summary: Sara's survival, search and rescue training is called upon much sooner then anyone thought

**Holding On**

Chapter 1

Sara wiped the dirt from her face; the sweat running down was mixing with the dust and creating a thin layer of mud. Low-crawling the best she could through the maze of debris, she watched carefully for metal shards and unstable pockets. Knowing one wrong move could cause the entire structure to collapse she completed the checklists in her mental notes.

Pulling the backboard behind her, she was starting to tire. She had to be getting close. Her right arm rubbed against a layer of plexi-glass as the tunnel narrowed. _'That's gonna leave a burn,'_ she grimaced trying to ignore the stinging pain. "Can anyone hear me!" she called out.

"Here! I'm here!" a man's voice called out.

She was close.

Moving forward carefully, more dirt rained down on her. Finally spotting the figure ahead of her, Sara felt a surge of strength as the adrenaline kicked in.

Reaching her goal, she maneuvered the best she could in the small opening. She began looking the person over, assessing his potential injuries. "Hi, my name's Sara. We're gonna get you out of here," she explained surveying the situation. His right leg was clearly trapped. "What's your name?"

A small smirk crossed his face, "Matt. Who's we, or do you always refer to yourself in plurals."

Trying to remain serious she couldn't hide the slight smile. "It was the royal 'we'. Does your neck hurt?" she continued with her checklist.

Shaking his head, "No just my leg. It's stuck."

Sara leaned over him and tested the weight pinning him. They both felt a slight rumble. The urgency kicked in again, "Ok, I'm going to lift up and I want you to pull yourself forward. Do you think you can do that?"

"I'll try," he offered.

Sara lifted the weight. Fear gripped her as the ground beneath her began shaking. She looked at the man below her as he pulled himself forward. Once he was free, she let go of the metal, and grabbed Matt's shirt.

"No! You can't pull me the entire way. Leave me," he pleaded as dirt and debris fell down.

"I'm not leaving you, use your good leg to push," she yelled at him. "We're getting out of here!" Hoping she would keep that promise she continued to pull, feeling the muscles in her arms and shoulders strain.

She focused on the light ahead of her. "We're almost there, keep pushing!"

The structure rumbled in response. Dirt blurred her vision, and suddenly the light disappeared.

Sara collapsed.

---/---

"Stop! Everyone stop!" a booming voice commanded.

Sara felt the plexi-glass to her left move as the wall opened. Looking up, her eyes locked on the man that owned the voice. _'He only smiles on test day,'_ she thought to herself as she considered their instructor.

He reached out, and grabbed her hand, lifting her out of the 'rubble' in one smooth motion as if she didn't weigh a thing. "Thanks Sarge."

Sara watched as another classmate did the same for Matt. "Leave me he says," she said to him.

Matt stood, and smiled down at her. "They tell us to say that," he replied, eyes sparkling.

"He was right," Sergeant Whitford interrupted and began instructing the rest of the class. "The hardest decision to make in search and rescue is making The Call."

Sara walked past Matt, trying to get to her seat.

He leaned in. "So are we a princess or a queen?" he whispered.

She punched him square in the chest, causing him to fall back into the training device. Walking away with a smirk, she looked over at her instructor.

"Sidle, no matter how big a pain in the ass the victim is, we generally don't put them back after we rescue them," he explained, humor threaded through his statement.

"Sorry Sarge, it won't happen again," she answered smiling at Matt as he awkwardly stood again and headed for his seat.

---/---

"To not dying!" Matt yelled as he brought the shot glass up to his mouth, Sara followed suit along with the rest of her class.

She winced as the tequila burned down her throat. Slamming the shot glass down on the bar, she blinked rapidly. Being a workaholic was murder on her tolerance.

"Don't like the hard stuff?" her suitemate asked.

"Not so much Beth," she replied honestly, squeezing her eyes tightly.

Matt draped his arm around her shoulders. "Are you drunk already Sidle?" he asked with a slur.

Pushing his arm away, Sara rubbed her eyes, "No it's the smoke, but I think I'm getting inebriated off your breath Mackenzie."

Before they could say more, and enthusiastic officer rushed past, "Sarge started a game of crud!" His statement cleared out the bar area as their classmates moved to the pool table in the adjacent room.

Sara smirked as she noted Matt Mackenzie was not going anywhere she wasn't.

Throwing cash down next to his drink he signaled the bartender. "Lee, two more!" he ordered.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she warned him.

"Oh com'on. Anything with you is a good idea," he commented placing his hand on hers.

Strategically spinning her stool to place a small barrier between them, she sighed. "Matt, I'm seeing someone."

Mustering his most serious face he whispered, "I'm seeing you, and you're beautiful."

The laugh she tried to stifle erupted, "But if I wasn't, and I was a sucker for cheesy pick up lines, you would be high on the list."

Their shots arrived and his smile returned, "Bottom's up!"

Sara groaned, and took her shot like a champ. In truth the survival, search and rescue course proved to be some of the hardest training she had ever experienced. After three weeks of demanding course work, and even more grueling physical training, she was ready to celebrate. The class of 30 law enforcement personnel had bonded quickly, but the night before graduation was the only night their hard nose instructor permitted them to party.

Her companion looked her way again, "So Sidle, what brings a CSI from Las Vegas up to Spokane for search and rescue training?"

Finally feeling that he had given up on making a move on her, Sara relaxed slightly. "I volunteered to be on call as a special duty. It's doubtful I will ever really need to use it, but it's good training to have," she explained. "The team is brand new, that's why we had six people here from LVPD too."

"I know, I saw. I was jealous. You're whole team got to train together. That's going to be a huge advantage if you're ever called up," he replied knowingly.

"I heard you hit it off with the guys," she commented finding herself enjoying the time to socialize.

He nodded, "I'm going to crash with O'Donnell for a week on my way back to Denver."

Looking toward the officer in question in the next room, she couldn't help but shake her head, "Mackenzie and O'Donnell hitting the Las Vegas strip? I'll make sure the female population is thoroughly warned.

Placing his hand over his heart, he staggered theatrically, "You wound me Sidle."

Before she could reply, a loud shout echoed from the pool room, "That can't be good," she noted and headed toward the action.

---/---

_'1 a.m.'_ Sara glanced at her watch as she stiffly climbed up her stairs. Their last test had left her so sore every step was painful. She had also been in such a hurry to get home, she only stopped for gas along the way. Her muscles were protesting loudly.

Finally making it to her door, she entered, dropped her bags immediately, and headed for her bed.

Removing only her jeans, she flopped comfortably onto her pillow. "Oh I missed you," she mumbled snuggling into the covers.

An arm suddenly wrapped around her waist, "I missed you too."

Sara smiled, "I was talking to my pillow. But now that you mention it, I missed you too Grissom. You didn't wait up," she finished sounding disappointed.

Grissom pulled her tightly against his chest, "I just worked 36 hours straight. Someone left me short staffed for three weeks."

Relaxing against him, she wrapped her fingers around his and brought his hand up to her mouth. She placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand, and twisted to look at his face.

His lips quickly met hers, drawing her into a passionate kiss.

Breaking away, Sara put her hand up to his mouth, and studied his face for a moment, "That was nice."

He hummed quietly, "I try."

A wicked smile crossed her face, "Ok, well leave me alone now. I've been dreaming of some quality time with my pillow for three weeks."

Grissom watched her roll over and fluff said pillow. Leaning over he whispered in her ear, "I bet I can make you forget all about that pillow."

Sara's laughter echoed through the bedroom, as he trailed kisses down her neck.

TBC…


	2. Symmetry

**A/N:** I'm setting the stage… This is all primarily GSR. The action is coming, but I indulged in some fluff first. If you don't like GSR you won't like this chapter, but I promise you the next chapter will be old fashion case files, and drama.

As always thanks to Aus for the beta read.

**Chapter 2**

Sara felt the bed shift as Grissom leaned over her to turn off the alarm clock. Opening one eye she noted the time. "Grissom, 9 a.m. We don't have to be to work for another twelve hours," she grumbled pulling her covers up.

Without a word, he kissed her cheek, rolled out of bed and walked out of the room.

Hearing the coffee grinder start up, Sara mentally walked through his routine. _After finely grinding the beans, he would take out the filtered water…this he did for her._

He emptied the coffee into the cone filter, careful not to make a mess, hit the brew button, and ripped off a sheet of paper towel to clean out the grinder in the sink.

_He would then move to open the door, grab the newspaper, take the rubber band off, and place it flat on the table._

He took out two cups from the cupboard, placed them next to the paper, and headed down the hall to the bathroom.

_He would take out two towels from the bathroom pantry, place them on the counter, relieve himself, wash his hands, splash water on his face, and move to the kitchen to wait for her._

Taking a detour, Grissom swung into the bedroom and crawled back under the covers.

Sara was immediately awake. "Grissom! Your feet are freezing," she complained, trying to move out of their reach.

He chuckled, pulling her tightly against him so she couldn't get away.

"Why are you back in bed? You're supposed to be waiting for me in the kitchen," she complained, twisting onto her back.

Propping himself up on his elbow, he smoothed her hair back. "Well, you've been gone for three weeks. My other girlfriend didn't mind," he joked lightly.

Raising an eyebrow she smirked, "Well your other girlfriend needs to know I don't share."

"Deal," he whispered, and kissed her deeply, running his hand down her side.

Breaking away she smiled, "A morning kiss before we've brushed our teeth? You must have really missed me."

A beep echoed from the kitchen.

"Coffee's done," he announced and pulled her from her nest of blankets.

---/---

"Sara have you seen my shoes?" Grissom called from the walk-in closet.

Buttoning her shirt she glanced around the bedroom. "What's the matter? Your other girlfriend not a very good housekeeper?" she asked picking up the misplaced accessory. Moving past each other, she placed the oxfords in his hands, and entered the closet while he buttoned his shirt.

"What time are you leaving?" Sara called out tying her shoes.

Grissom glanced at his watch, "I'll leave in five minutes. That way you can leave before 8:00."

Re-entering the bedroom, she slipped behind him, and wrapped her arms around him. "You know for a group of people who are supposed to be investigators, you would think they would have it figured out by now," she commented.

Turing to hug her fully, kissed her forehead, and released her. "What's the matter? Sick of the cloak and dagger?"

She laughed, "No that part's exciting. Filling up two vehicles with the gas prices the way they are is annoying." She followed him out into the living room.

"If all you wanted to do was car pool, you could have let me know," he explained.

Elbowing him in the side, she offered a fake laugh, "But then who would we have all the sex with?"

Opening the door he smiled, "You've clearly never been car pooling buddies with me."

Watching the door close, she tried her best not to glow. They did after all have a front to put up.

---/---

Greg hit the button in frustration.

"Watch it Greg, that unit cost ten grand," Sara warned looking at the electronic nose. Pressing two buttons rapidly she smiled sweetly as it beeped happily.

Greg returned her smile with a tense one, "Thanks. I thought I broke it." Glancing over the readout he couldn't help but be interested in what perfume Sara wore. He was surprised to find traces of polo aftershave in the mix. His interest was peaked, but before he could comment Grissom walked past him with assignment slips.

"Welcome back Sara. I take it you survived the training course with little injury?" Grissom asked her as he poured her a cup of coffee.

"Some minor bumps and bruises, but it was worth it," she answered.

Nick, Warrick and Catherine took the moment to enter in a wave of noise.

"The man is crazy!" Warrick exclaimed.

"I swear to you that's what he said!" Nick replied, clearly trying to defend himself.

"Before or after you frisked him?" Catherine asked suggestively.

Grissom cleared his throat, "I hope it was a suspect you were frisking Nick?"

The younger CSI's face reddened suddenly and he sat even faster.

"Who's still working an open investigation?" Grissom finally asked.

Greg held up the equipment, waving it toward his boss, "I have that assault at the gym." The device beeped loudly.

Looking over his glasses, Gil chose not to lecture his newest CSI, "Warrick, you know how to operate that thing. Work with Greg before he has to sell his car to pay the department back."

Nick chuckled, "Where would he get the other $9,700. Have you seen his car?"

Greg pretended to laugh and glanced at the screen. _Polo aftershave, freesia, scope_. Knowing the combination looked familiar, he scrolled up to the last reading. _Freesia, scope, polo aftershave._ Glancing around the room, he was at a loss as to what he should do with the information. He looked from Sara to Grissom, and back to Sara again.

"You ok Greggo? You didn't actually break it did you?" she asked standing up.

"No!" he shouted trying to clear the screen before anyone saw. "No, I just ah…I knew Warrick was working on the B&E, and was going to ask you to help," he said to Sara.

Grissom looked skeptical, but nodded his agreement. Handing out the last of his slips, he left the break room, and waited patiently for the shift to be over.

---/---

Sara swung by Grissom's office. "Hey I'm heading out," she announced.

Glancing up he smiled at her, "Everything go alright at the gym?"

A strange look crossed her face, "Sure. We pulled the suspect in. He confessed. End of story."

He could tell there was more to the story, but chose not to call her on it. It was something she would most likely tell him at home. "Ok, I think I'll be heading out myself here in about ten minutes."

She offered him a quick wink, and turned toward the exit.

He watched her walk away, but his view was suddenly blocked by Greg. Refocusing he looked at the man in the doorway. "Yes Greg?"

Greg looked back toward Sara, and then again at his boss, "We ah, we finished the case."

"I know, she just told me," he replied slowly wondering why the younger CSI looked like the cat that ate the canary. "Was there something you needed?"

He shook his head, "Um, no I guess not. It's good to have Sara back?"

"Considering that some of my CSIs like to stand in doorways wasting time? Yes it's nice to have Sara back," he answered sternly.

Taking the hint, Greg turned, and walked toward the locker room.

---/---

Sara heard his keys in the lock while she put the finishing touches on the table setting. "What took you so long? I thought you were only ten minutes behind me?"

He held up a plastic bag, "I made a pit stop."

Glance at the bag, and then at his face, she began beaming. "Ben and Jerry's Half Baked?" she asked clearly excited.

"Yes ma'am," he answered and moved to put the containers in the freezer.

Snatching one out of his hand she grabbed a spoon from the dishwasher. "The spinach lasagna we put together yesterday should be done in about ten minutes," she informed him, digging into the ice cream.

Picking out a red wine, Grissom opened it, and poured two glasses, "Wine, ice cream and lasagna at 9 a.m. I wonder why people think the night shift is strange."

She followed him into the living room and they both sat on the couch, "I always thought Greg gave us the bad name."

Turning in the TV he nodded, "He was stranger than usual today."

"You noticed that too?" she asked. "He kept asking weird questions…like he was fishing for something."

Shrugging it off, they both chalked it up to his eccentricities. "So. Tell me about your training?" he asked flipping through channels.

Sara filled him in on the basics. They covered forest survival, rock/mountain climbing rescue, and disaster recovery. "The only injury the class had was Sarge. He broke two ribs."

"How'd he do that, rock climbing?" he asked getting up to check the lasagna.

Shaking her head, she poured them each some more wine. "No. O'Donnell from PD actually. He got a little carried away playing crud."

"Crud?" he asked pulling out their dinner, and set it on the table.

"Sarge is retired Air Force. Pilot's play it, and it gets pretty violent," she explained.

They both settled into their chairs, content. They had only been officially together for a few months, but they each felt like it had been a lifetime. Like everything they had experienced up to that point was orchestrated to get them to exactly where they were. Together, in love, and happy.

---/---

Grissom turned the page of his report, pillows propping himself up against the head board. Unconsciously, he listened to Sara's movements, tracing her steps. _She would pull her hair back, wash her face, and reach blindly for the towel he left out for her._

Sara hung the towel up, and grabbed her toothbrush from the holder.

_She would floss, take off her jewelry and place them neatly in the jewelry box he had bought for her._

She walked to the living room, watered her ivy, and turned off all the lights.

_She would pick up his shoes and his jacket and place them in their closet._

Sara removed her jeans, put on some wind pants and a tank top, and crawled in bed.

Grissom smiled wickedly and flung his report to the ground. "Your feet are cold," he commented rolling on top of her.

TBC…


	3. A True Test

**A/N: **Thanks to Aus for the beta read and the "motivation' to write today! And thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed thus far, you're all my shining stars. As promised, the action has begun…

**A True Test**

Greg walked past the layout room, and stopped suddenly. Changing course, he entered the room, and tried his best to appear nonchalant. "Hey long time no see," he finally said.

Sara looked up from her case file. "Hey Greggo," she returned.

"You had a 3 week vacation from this place, and then the weekend off?" he teased her, sitting down across from her.

"Ha ha. I don't think _that_ training qualified as a vacation. My body needed a four day weekend to recover," she told him, and looked back at her case file.

Greg watched her drum her pen against the table, he had to know if his suspicions were true. He cleared his throat, "So, um, what's the first thing you did when you got back?"

The drumming of her pen momentarily stopped, and Greg swore he saw a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"I, ah, I went straight to bed," she told him, not looking up.

His mind raced with the implications. "To bed? After three weeks of…" _'Of what? Of not seeing Grissom…of not having sex…'_ "…of not being here," he finally settled on the words, sounding lame even to himself.

She looked up confused, "Yeah Greg. It was a fifteen hour drive."

"Right, sure. Fifteen hours, that's a long drive," he muttered. "Any plans tonight?"

"Yeah Greg, it's called work," she explained offering a fake smile, and then returned to her reading.

"Right. Work. I meant after work," he clarified.

Mentally exhausted from the conversation she looked up, "I'm teaching a friend how to rock climb. What's with the twenty questions Greg? Do you need me to tell Grissom that you don't have enough work to do?"

Standing he shook his head. "No I have plenty of that. I'll just go do that…work," he said point out the door.

"I think that's a great idea Greg," Grissom's voice recommended.

Greg watched Sara's focus shift instantly to their supervisor. "Hey Grissom," she greeted him.

Grissom held up a slip of paper, "Sara, we need to go. There's been a murder-suicide."

She stood, and gathered up her papers. "I'll be right there. Let me grab my kit and vest."

Greg watched her hurry out on her way to the locker room, and then looked up at the other man in the room. "Hey Grissom. Anything for me?" he asked hopeful.

"Yeah Greg, your form 1090's were all returned to me. You get to redo all of them," he offered with an amused smile.

The younger man groaned, "No one told me about all the paperwork."

Grissom slapped him on the back as they exited the room, "You didn't ask."

Before they parted, Greg took a chance, "What are you doing tonight?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" he asked.

Greg stammered, but found no words to reply.

Feeling some pity on his subordinate, he held up his hand, and decided to be truthful. "I'm going rock climbing Greg. Now get to work," he ordered and turned away, failing to notice the shock left in his wake.

---/---

Pulling up to the crime scene Sara looked over at Grissom. "I think Greg tried to ask me out today," she told him, still trying to figure out the reason behind their strange conversation.

Parking he looked over at her, he smiled, "Funny. He asked me out too."

Her entire face was a question, but he exited the vehicle before she could figure out what he was talking about.

Opening her door, she met him at the back of the SUV. He handed off her kit, and they approached the police barricade.

"I need everyone to back up!" an officer was shouting to the onlookers.

Grissom moved to slip under the yellow crime scene tape.

"That goes for you too Dr. Grissom," they were instructed.

"Why, what's going on Officer…?" Sara asked looking at the house, and then back of the young officer. She searched for his nametag.

"Dallion, ma'am. One of the bullets nicked the propane tank attached to the hot water heater. It's a slow leak, they just detected it," he explained.

"Has the electricity been cut off?" Grissom asked.

Dallion nodded his head, "Yeah, but they have a generator in the basement that kicked in. O'Donnell and Foster are in there trying to turn it off before the whole neighborhood goes up in flames."

Sara swallowed hard; O'Donnell and Foster were both friends of hers. She had completed the search and rescue training with the two of them. "What can we do?" she asked still looking at their crime scene.

"We need to move this crowd back," the officer explained pushing the barrels forward.

Sara was immediately on the other side of the tape helping.

---/---

Ryan O'Donnell sighed in relief as the motor in the generator came to a final stop.

"Who owns a generator?" his partner asked relieving his stress through sarcasm.

Looking around the basement they both noted the stockpile of food, water, and supplies. Picking up one of the cans, Ryan blew off the dust. "They're all labeled 1999. They must have been one of the families that freaked out about Y2K, and never came down here to disconnect the thing once the world didn't come to an end," he reasoned.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Foster pointed for the stairs, "Shall we leave this death trap, and wait for the gas to air out?"

"Yeah, ok, let's go," he agreed and made his way up the stairs.

The instant his boot hit the carpet, a small spark ignited. It was all the catalyst the house needed.

---/---

Sara was walking toward Grissom when the sudden force knocked her flat on her face.

Grissom was unable to help her as he too was forced back. His head slammed against the pavement, and blackness suddenly enveloped him.

---/---

Grissom's sense of smell returned first. Smoke assaulted him, and an undercurrent of something familiar. He was suddenly aware of sirens blaring all around him, and soothing voice pulling him into consciousness.

"Grissom, can you hear me?" Sara's voice broke through the haze.

"Sara?"

"Yes, Grissom. Open your eyes," he prodded.

Everything was blurry as he finally obeyed her request. Blinking rapidly a dark form hovering over him slowly came into focus.

"Hey. You're still with me?" Sara asked lightly. "I'm sick of your excuses about why you can't go rock climbing."

Trying to sit up, she helped maneuver him so he could lean up against a nearby car. He cupped her chin, looking into her eyes, "Are you ok?"

She nodded slightly, tears threatening to fall.

"What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" He asked panicked as he searched her for injuries.

Sara shrugged him off, "I'm fine. It's Ryan and Derek. They're trapped in the house. They've been able to radio out, but Derek is in bad shape. The fire trucks just rolled up."

"Sara!" a man's voice shouted interrupting the pair.

Her head whipped around. She looked back at Grissom, squeezed his hand and stood to meet the man running toward them.

"Matt, what are you doing here?" she asked allowing him to hug her.

"Are you ok? Were you here when it blew?" he asked clearly concerned.

Grissom tried his best to quell his jealousy. Pushing off the car, he stood, but had to lean heavily on the car for support.

Sara saw his movement out of the corner of her eye and she move to help him, "Whoa Gris. You need to get checkout. I don't think you should be standing."

Matt looked at the smoldering house, "I heard about the explosion on Ryan's police scanner, and came here. Is he here?"

Sara looked back at her friend, and then at the house. "No. He and Foster are still inside. They're trapped," her last words hung in the air for a moment. Turning to Grissom, she knew he wasn't going to be happy with what she was about to propose, "I'm going to see if we can help get them out."

Opening his mouth to protest, the CSI in him knew that this was the very reason why she traveled to Spokane. He couldn't argue, and he had to trust that she was well trained. "Just be safe," he offered.

Nodding, she looked at her colleague and ran to the firemen that were unloading their gear.

---/---

Sara stood back and listened while the city engineer explained to the team where the officers were located and the best way to get to them.

"…it's a tight fit. We'll need someone small to go down first and see where the weak areas are of the structure."

Glancing at Grissom, she noted his clenched jaw. _'He's not going to like this one,'_ she thought before taking a step closer to the group. "I'll go," she stated simply.

Most of the men sized her up, and those who didn't know her looked with skepticism.

She bristled at their reactions, "I've been trained in hazardous search and rescue, and am a member of the Las Vegas disaster response task force."

"Ok then, let's get you geared up," the fire chief concluded, ceasing any further arguments.

Feeling slightly proud of her small victory, she turned toward Grissom. He pulled her out of ear shot, and Sara braced herself for what was coming.

"Sara this is too dangerous," he told her, fear mixed with anger to give his voice a quality she had never heard before.

"I'm their best chance," she explained rationally.

Looking up at the stars he attempted to gather his thoughts. Finally looking at her, his desperation was clearly evident. "Sara there could still be pockets of propane in there, not to mention the fact that the entire structure could collapse any minute now!"

They were attracting attention, and Sara was slightly embarrassed. "Grissom!" her harsh whispered scolded him. "If you weren't prepared for me to do this why did you let me take the training? I'm going in there to save a fellow officer," her tone made it clear the discussion was over.

She started to walk away, but was pulled back, "Grissom!"

He spun her so that his back was to the rescue workers. "Shh, just let me…Sara I'll be right here when you get out," he told her, fighting every urge to kiss her.

Sara placed her hand on his chest. She fingered his button, "I'll be fine. You should go get your head checked out." Even as she spoke she realized how comforting it would be to know he was waiting for her.

"Sidle! Saddle up," Matt Mackenzie called out.

Sara squeezed his hand before walking to Matt who was holding her gear.

He smirked, "Did you see what I did there? Sidle. Saddle."

"Yeah, you're a genuine Robert Frost there Mackenzie," she told him, taking the helmet from him.

Grissom watched the two interact from a distance and realized his jealousy was due to Matt Mackenzie's presence, but was directed at their freedom to interact genuinely and openly.

"I could find you a pink brain bucket," he teased her as she buckled the white helmet.

"This will work just fine," she told him, and headed toward the rubble.

TBC…


	4. Conflicted

**a/n:** Sorry this took so long. I have major writer's block. The rest of the story is outlined, and I will do my best to update again tomorrow.

As always, thanks to willowaus for the beta read! What would I do without you?

Chapter 4: Conflicted

Sara approached the opening the rescue workers had excavated. It was going to be a tight squeeze for her. Looking at the serious faces around her, she nodded toward the space, "The guys are going to fit through that?"

Handing her a back board the fire chief grimaced, "It's the best we can do with the lack of stability. Strap them on to the board, and keep your eye open for sharp debris."

Taking a deep breathe, she fought the urge to look back at Grissom.

"Here," Matt interrupted making quick work of some rope and a carabiner, and clipped the backboard to her utility belt. "Concentrate on clearly the path as you go."

She nodded, bent down on her hands and knees, and began the slow arduous process through the debris.

Opening the channel on her radio, she was grateful for the headset. "Ryan, Derek. It's Sara. Can you hear me?"

"We hear you Sidle. You coming to get us?" Ryan's voice wavered as he spoke.

Pushing some metal from her path with her gloved hand, Sara nodded out of habit while she spoke, "I'm on my way. Hang tight guys."

Pushing past her feelings of claustrophobia, she searched her mind wildly for a song that would help her redirect her focus. Nothing was coming to her.

Instead her mind flashed instantly to Grissom.

--/--

"Sir, you should go to the hospital," the fire chief told Grissom as they stood nearby waiting for any radio communication.

His eyes were fixated on the hole where Sara had disappeared through. "I'm not leaving until I know she's safe," he whispered, and then instantly held his breathe when her voice crackled over the radio.

"_Ryan, Derek. It's Sara. Can you hear me?"_

He could hear a slight waver in her voice, and he instantly wanted to be near her, but instead he stood helplessly staring at the wreckage.

"Grissom?"

He turned to face the familiar voice. "Shouldn't you be finishing up those 1090's?" he asked trying to hide his fear.

"We were all worried at the lab when we heard your murder suicide blew up?" Greg explained timidly. Looking around him, he sized up the tension in the air. "Where's Sara?"

Nodding toward the rubble, he returned to his vigil. "In there."

Greg swallowed hard, "Was she in there when it blew?"

Silence hung in the air.

Taking a step forward, bile was rising in the younger man's throat. He rested his hand on his supervisors arm, turning him toward him. "Grissom, was she in there when it blew?" he repeated his question with a sense of urgency.

Before Grissom could reply, Sara's voice echoed through the air.

"_I found what's left of some stairs! I think I'm close. Ryan can you hear me?"_

"_Yeah Sara, we hear you. I think I can see your light."_

Relief flooded over Greg like a tidal wave. Once his brain processed what was going on, he quickly realized his friend was still in some real danger. Pulling out his cell phone to call the lab, he glanced up at his boss. Greg had a feeling that he could tell him he secretly wore woman's clothing, and wouldn't get a response.

--/--

Sara moved forward another inch, pushing some shrapnel out of her path. "Ryan!" she yelled hoping to hear them without the radio.

"Here Sara," a muffled voice returned.

Moving toward the sound she suddenly hissed in pain as metal ripped through her shirt sleeve drawing blood. She instantly wished they were all back in Spokane, and was waiting for the plexi-glass door to swing open and Sarge's voice berating them for not properly clearing the path.

Dust fell into her eyes, reminding her that the situation couldn't be any more real.

Pushing aside a stray board she finally saw the light beam from Ryan's flashlight. Adrenaline rushed through her, moving her forward. "Ryan, Derek. I'm here."

Ryan's eyes betrayed his fear and concern.

Sara looked from him to the still form to his right. "Derek," she breathed taking in the sight. He was on his stomach, but his torso disappeared beneath a large beam.

"Took you…long enough…Sidle," he wheezed. Blood smeared the corner of his mouth.

She wanted to cry, shout, and laugh all at the same time. "You're goin' hafta kick my ass when we get out of here," she told him shining her light on his back. "Can you feel your legs?" she asked him taking his hand.

"No," he whispered.

Looking at O'Donnell, she tried to access his injuries. His eyes were dilated, blood and grime coated his forehead, and he was cradling his right arm. "What about you. Where are you hurt?"

Taking a ragged breath, he wiped his eyes with his good arm. "It's hard to breathe, my arm's broken, maybe my ankle too, and I think I blacked out."

Thinking through her options, Sara unhooked the back board. "Alright. O'Donnell, follow me, I cleared the way. Foster you stay awake. I'm coming back, and we're going to get you out," she commanded.

Derek remained silent.

"Foster, did you hear me?" her voice cracked.

"Yeah Sara…you need to…make The Call," he told her.

Shaking her head violently, she took his hand again. "I don't think the victim gets to make the call. You stay awake, and I'll be back."

--/--

"_I've got Officer O'Donnell. Foster's trapped under a wooden beam,"_ Sara's voice announced. She was breathing hard, and Grissom could hear her fatigue.

The fire chief nodded, "What do need?"

"_Something small…a car jack. I'll lift the beam, strap him to the back board and pull him out."_

Snapping his fingers, several men jumped up to follow out the chief's unspoken order.

"_Have it ready. He's in bad shape."_

One of the younger firemen ran up with a jack.

"In my hands already Sidle," he told her.

--/--

Mackenzie was waiting for the pair as he helped Ryan from the debris, and into the hands of the waiting paramedics.

Turning back, he lifted Sara with ease.

She sought out the worried eyes of Grissom, and forced herself to turn away. She needed to maintain her focus for Derek's sake. Taking the jack she turned back to reenter the building even though her training told her she couldn't save her friend.

Grissom watched her disappear again. He couldn't help but wonder if she had cheated death too many times. In their relationship he always thought she would be the one mourning his death, but in that instant he wondered if he would have a funeral to attend in the near future. She had become his life, but no one knew it. He didn't want to keep it a secret any longer.

--/--

Sara once again reached Derek, and was relieved to see the rise and fall of his breathing. "Derek," she spoke, maneuvering around him, trying to determine the most strategic spot for the car jack.

A groan preceded his voice, "Sara. You shouldn't be here."

Ignoring his suggestion, she pushed the metal into place. Sara took the back board and readied it for a quick get away. Taking a deep breath, she gripped the wrench and pumped it once testing the structural stability.

A rumble warned them they were playing with fire.

Taking a deep breath, she took the wrench in her hand again, but was stopped before she could raise it another notch. Derek's hand was wrapped around hers.

"Sara. It's over," he told her weakly.

Tears stung her eyes. "No it's not. We can make it," she told him, but in her gut she knew he was right. His only way out was going to be amputation, but his injuries made it doubtful he would last long enough for a medical crew to help him.

Pressing the radio button she open the primary channel. "I can't raise the beam without collapsing the structure. The only way to free him is to amputate his legs."

"_Copy that Sidle. We'll get a surgeon out here."_

Lying down on her stomach she shifted so she could be eye level with him. Their fingers were intertwined. "I'm sorry," she told him.

He blinked a few times, trying to focus on her, "You should leave me."

Shaking her head, a tear finally slipped from her eyes and down her cheek. "As long as you're breathing. I'm staying."

"We were going to hit the strip tonight," he told her, forcing the tears away, trying to focus on the warmth that was spreading over his body.

She laughed softly. "Matt told me. He wanted me to go."

Squeezing her hand, he nodded. "I think he had ulterior motives." A ringing in his ears made it hard for him to concentrate. "I don't think he knows you're spoken for."

Sara could see him slipping away, and she was torn between letting him go because his pain would end, and trying to keep him talking for her selfish personal reasons. "Derek, I don't want to say good bye," she was crying openly now.

"Sara Sidle never does what she doesn't want to do. This time though, I think I win," he told her. His grip on her hand loosened. "Thanks for staying with me. Good bye Sara."

"Derek, I'm sorry," she told him, but he didn't hear it. The life in his eyes were gone, she couldn't see his chest moving. "Good bye," she whispered.

TBC…


	5. Sudden Revelations

**a/n:** So I think I got my groove back! Special thanks to Willowaus as usual for the beta read.

**Chapter 5: Sudden Revelations **

Grissom stood, his heart breaking for the woman he loved. The radio line was open. Her raw emotions floated through the air.

"_I'm sorry." _

Grissom wanted to yell at her, it wasn't her fault.

"_You should leave me."_

Slowly nodding, he couldn't help but agree with the weakened voice. He needed her in the safety of his presence. Every moment she spent in the rubble was another moment closer to disaster.

"_As long as you're breathing. I'm staying."_

He heard that tone of voice before, and he had yet to find a technique to combat that level of stubbornness. His fear for her suddenly gave way to utter respect for her devotion. Looking at Greg, he saw the same admiration mirrored in his eyes.

"_We were going to hit the strip tonight." _

"_Matt told me. He wanted me to go."_

Unconsciously he looked at the younger man still hovering over the entrance. He couldn't help but think Matt Mackenzie was more Sara's type. Young, fearless, funny, and attractive. All things Grissom felt he lacked.

"_I think he had ulterior motives. I don't think he knows you're spoken for."_

Grissom continued to stare at the source of his jealousy when Matt suddenly turned and looked straight into his eyes. He knew. Did Sara tell him, or was it that obvious. Subconscious he looked at Greg, who also cast him a knowing look.

"_Derek, I don't want to say good bye."_

They could all hear that she was crying openly now. It had to be close to the end. The surgeon still hadn't arrived. Silence swept over the crowd.

"_Sara Sidle never does what she doesn't want to do. This time though, I think I win."_

Letting a chuckle slip through his throat, Grissom knew from personal experience that statement was true. It was part of the reason he loved her…he loved her. In the back of his mind he wondered if he did. He knew he loved her as a friend and confidante, but wasn't ready to say the words to her for fear of ruining the tenuous relationship that took them ten years to grow.

"…_Good bye, Sara."_

The officer's last words shook him from his thoughts. He held his breath. He didn't know Foster well, but law enforcement carried an intrinsic camaraderie.

"_Derek, I'm sorry."_

"Me too Sara," he whispered; his heart breaking for her.

"_Good bye."_

Her voice was barely audible, but they all knew he was gone.

Taking a step forward, Grissom felt the wind pick up drastically. _'Not now,'_ he thought. Any other night he would be grateful for the drastic shift that happened often.

"Grissom," a faint hint of alarm was evident in Greg's voice.

Glancing behind him, the older CSI's eyes narrowed.

Sanders nodded toward what was left of the roof.

They watched as it tilted dangerously back and forth.

Acting instantly, Gil grabbed a radio from the hands of one of the firemen. "Sara, you need to get out of there now!" he proclaimed.

--/--

Sara lay there for several moments, unable to let go of her friend's hand. She couldn't believe she failed him.

It felt wrong to leave him, but she knew a body recovery could wait until all safety measures were taken.

A rumble rattled the ground beneath her, followed by a crackle on her radio.

"_Sara, you need to get out of there now!"_

She tasted a bitterness in her throat, and her pulse quickened. She tried pushing the quick talk button on her headset, but it beeped angrily in her ear. Disgusted she pulled away, and grabbed the radio. "What's wrong?"

"_Sara the wind's picked up out here. It looks like the roof is ready to collapse in on you!"_

His fear was transferred to her, and she spun around as quickly as her tight quarters would allow. Looking back once more, she watch dirt fall down on her friend's still form.

--/--

"What's taking her so long?" Grissom wondered aloud.

No one spoke for fear of providing the wrong answer to the troubled man.

Another gust of wind rippled through the crime scene. Grissom stared at the unstable rubble, daring it to move.

"Come on Sara," he demanded under his breath, willing her to appear.

He suddenly felt he was going to be blown off his feet as wind blew around him. The force was enough to finally destroy the tenuous stability. The last remnant of the roof disappeared in a cloud of dust.

Grissom felt like he had been punched in the stomach. "No," he refused to believe the truth of the situation. Pushing the button on the radio, his hand shook as he brought it up to his mouth. "Sara talk to me," he pleaded.

Greg looked at his boss, needing reassurance. He appeared to have aged in a matter of minutes. Pulling out his cell phone he dialed the lab again. After half a ring, he heard Nick's voice. "You need to get down here now," he told him. No further explanation was needed.

Static popped from the radio, and the entire situation seemed unreal. Greg looked around him. The fire team had converged on the opening, a younger man he didn't know appeared to be suiting up to go in after Sara, and Grissom continued to stand clutching the only life line they had had with her.

--/--

Nick hung up the phone, his hands shaking as the rush of adrenaline coursed through him.

Warrick saw the fear. "What happened?"

"We need to go down there," he told him, unable to provide any further explanation.

"Sara?" the question was rhetorical, but he hoped that assessment was wrong.

"Where's Catherine?" he asked grabbing his keys, and heading for the door.

"She's out at the B&E, we'll call her on the way," Warrick told him.

--/--

Sara tensed as her teeth rattled, and her world began to crumble before her eyes. In that instant she decided that the world was not fair. She was finally happy, in love, and she just risked her life to comfort her friend as he died. Now she was about to be crushed, and the man she loved was going have to watch her fate helplessly.

Searching blindly for her radio, she wanted to at least say the words she had been afraid to say knowingly they could very well scare him off. Even if he couldn't return the sentiment, she wanted to at least let him know she loved him.

After several seconds of not finding the radio, she cried in frustration, and pulled herself forward, ignoring the pain splintering throughout her body. She had to get out. She had to make sure Grissom knew.

As suddenly as everything started, a calm fell on her. For a moment she thought she had passed out and was dreaming.

She could hear noise directly in front of her. "Grissom!" she shouted knowing he would be close.

"Sara, hang on, we're coming," she heard Matt yell.

--/--

Grissom heard her muffled cry for him, but was too stunned to believe he wasn't hallucinating. Anger welled up within him for letting someone else encourage her. Surging forward, he began helping the rescue team move debris out of the way.

"Grissom!" Greg yelled, trying to get his attention. "You need gloves," he explained, pulling him back.

"NO!" a guttural yell ripped through the older man as he pushed Greg off of him. Not feeling the cuts on his hand, he continued to clear the way.

--/--

Sara heard the scream, and instinctually shrunk back from its intensity. She feared Grissom had been injured in the collapse.

Never in her recollection had she heard that level of pain escape him.

Fresh air began wafting down to her, and she knew they were getting close. "Help," she choked out, and began coughing. The dust was once again filling her lungs, as they cleared the path.

Closing her eyes, she waited for freedom to come to her. She was unable to move forward.

Minutes later she felt someone touching her face. Opening her eyes, she blinked rapidly, trying to focus her blurred vision. Despite the dust in her eyes, she knew his touch. It was like a childhood memory of the smell of spring. "Grissom," she said, reaching for his hand.

"I'm right here, you're almost out," he promised her, content to let the others finish the task. He thought as long as he was touching her, she would be safe.

Matt pulled up on a splintered piece of wood eliciting a painful cry from Sara. "Stop! Everyone stop! She's hurt," he yelled, knowing if the removed the wrong thing from the pile they could very well kill her.

"Sara what is it? What hurts?" Gil asked her.

Squeezing her eyes tightly together, she tried to concentrate. Her whole body hurt, but most of it was a dull pain. "My hip. I think something is stuck in the bone," she explained as calmly as she could.

--/--

Nick and Warrick parked hastily, and Catherine followed shortly after. They all ran toward the activity. Hearing a myriad of shouts, their fear increased.

"_The surgeon's here!"_

"_They found her!"_

"_She's pinned!"_

"_She's conscious!"_

Nearing the wreckage they spotted Greg. Unable to do anything but stare at the organized chaos, the flanked their colleague.

Grissom was kneeling in the middle of the chaos, holding Sara's hand. She was barely visible. The dirt that caked her caused her to blend in with the mess. Tears dripped down, clearing a small line of dust along her cheek.

Tenderly wiping the tears away, Gil smeared the grime. He shifted slightly, allowing her head to rest in his lap. They couldn't hear his voice, but they saw Sara react to whatever he said. Her eyes flew open, and she focused on his face.

--/--

The pain reminded Sara of a buzzing that went unnoticed until someone pointed it out, and then no matter what was done, the buzzing was all that could be heard.

Each time something shifted, the pain intensified. Tears escape her eyes despite her resolve to stay strong.

She felt Grissom brush them away.

"We're going to cut some of the wood away. If you feel any pain, tell us, and we'll stop immediately," the fire chief was explaining. After a moment of silence, he decided to take another approach, and directed his attention to the older CSI. "Sir. We need to make sure whatever has impaled her doesn't move."

Gil glanced up, and nodded. "Sara, open your eyes." Still not getting a response, he moved to cradle her head, leaning down, he spoke in hushed tones. "Sara, honey I love you. You need to look at me."

Shocked at his confession, Sara suddenly opened her eyes, and looked into his. He loved her. He said it.

"Sara, they're going to move some things. If you feel anything tell me, and they'll stop," he told her.

She nodded, still speechless.

"Ok," he said to her then looked up, and repeated himself to the fire crew. "Ok. She's ready."

Taking a moment to assess her other injuries, Grissom noted every scratch. Her skin was cold, and he knew shock wasn't too far behind. "You're doing great," he encouraged her, trying to keep her with him.

"I love you too," she finally spoke.

Until that point he hadn't cared that she had not returned his sentiment. Considering it, he still didn't care. He cared that she loved him, but her response or lack of response didn't change a thing for him. Leaning it, he kissed her tenderly, uncaring of those around him.

TBC…

Disclaimer: For anyone reading "Every Step She Takes" by em j I wanted to say there is a **_very very_ vague** similarity (Sara stuck/pinned, w/ Grissom there to comfort her) that did not occur to me until I finished this chapter. I emailed her to make sure she knew I outlined this before I read her fic. I in no way intended to copy her idea.


	6. Distractions & Complications

**a/n: **I want to thank everyone for reviewing, I don't write for the reviews but they do motivate one. As always thanks to willowaus for the beta read. Enjoy!

**Chapter 6: Distractions & Complications **

"I guess that cat is out of the bag," Greg said bluntly as the team watched Grissom kiss Sara gently.

Catherine couldn't decide if she was stunned that her friend finally gave in to his suppressed feelings or relieved that she no longer had to run interference between the two.

Warrick laughed under his breath, and Nick smacked the younger man's chest.

Greg looked over in response. "What? I totally saw that coming," he explained.

"Sure Greg," Nick returned.

"No. I figured it out. The electronic nose…and the rock climbing…" he trailed off, seeing the disbelief on the faces of his colleagues. Looking back to the pair in question he watched their interaction. "I figured it out before the rest of you," he said under his breath. "Scope and freesia."

--/--

Sara desperately wanted to change positions. She was pinned in a semi-prone configuration, and her right arm was starting to tingle. Testing her surroundings, she pushed up slightly. A moan of pain she was unable to suppress escaped her.

"Stop! Stop, everyone stop!" Grissom shouted.

The crew around them all froze in their spots. Matt looked at the older man with concern and confusion. "We haven't started yet," he explained, moving toward the pair. "What happened?" he asked kneeling next to Sara.

Still trying to recover from the sudden stab of pain, Sara was unable to make out any of the voices she around her. It sounded like she was underwater.

"Talk to me Sara. No one's moved anything yet," Mackenzie demanded gently.

She blinked rapidly, finally able to focus, but finding herself confused, "What?"

Grissom looked with concern from Matt to Sara. "Sara, what just happened? You cried out in pain," he told her, his concern for her growing.

Craning her neck, she looked around her. Several firefighters were standing around her, she saw a flash of blonde hair and knew Catherine was close by, the other blurry figures next to her had to be the rest of the night shift CSIs, and finally feeling a soft touch on her cheek she scanned her focus past Matt to Grissom. "I…my, um, my arm. It fell asleep. I tried to move," she explained slightly embarrassed.

"Where's that surgeon?" Mackenzie yelled.

Slightly annoyed, Sara exhaled softly. "I don't need a surgeon, I just moved wrong," she protested, but realized no one was listening to her.

"Find the doctor or the paramedics!" Grissom yelled after seeing Catherine.

"Griss, I'm ok now, I won't move again. I promise," she attempted again, but was interrupted by a young petite blond.

"I'm Dr. Allison Roarke," she introduced herself, looking down at her patient. "You need me?"

A choir of yes's drown out the one dissenting opinion.

"She's pinned by something, and before they could begin freeing her, she felt some pain," Grissom explained again.

The doctor surveyed the pile of debris still trapping Sara.

"It's her left hip," Matt supplied helpfully, missing the dirty look.

"I don't need a surgeon," Sara told the doctor. "I need less holes in my body not more."

Offering a polite smile at the joke, the physician continued her preliminary exam snapping on a pair of latex gloves. "I'm just going to see if I can feel what you're caught on. If there's pain let me know," she explained slipping her hand carefully down Sara's side.

"Gah!" Sara exclaimed loudly.

"Pain?" Grissom asked squeezing her hand.

"Pain, yes. There's pain," she said in frustration. "In my ass and my arm! My arm fell asleep."

Smiling finally, Gil looked up briefly. "And the pain in your ass is…"

"You!" Sara finished for him.

"Ah," he offered her his best 'I see' expression.

"Yes, 'ah'. Now can you all please get back to getting me out of here," she demanded.

"No," Dr. Roarke told her, as she slipped her hand out from the rubble revealing a blood soaked glove.

"Sara," Grissom breathed out.

Fear suddenly hit her. She knew her hip was hurt, but she wasn't ready to admit it was serious until she saw the blood. "I didn't think…" she started to explain but didn't know what else to say.

"How bad?" Matt asked.

"It feels like there's a 3 cm diameter piece of metal logged in her anterior pelvic bone. I'm concerned that it may be close to her external iliac artery," she explained seriously. "The metal feels like it's attached to this beam," she continued pointing to the prominent piece of wood.

"Ok I understand about half of that," Matt told her, "And it sounds bad."

"We need to get her out of here, and in an OR, but you have to be very careful with the extraction. That metal can't move a millimeter or she may bleed out," the doctor warned.

Grissom stopped listening and looked down at the woman he loved. She was staring at him, clearly afraid. Realizing she needed him more than he needed to be part of her rescue, he attempted to get lower to be closer to her. "No more moving Sidle. You're gonna need to suck up that pain in your arm," he told her lightly.

"Yeah," she agreed.

--/--

Nick looked on with concern. They had been holding their collective breath the moment Grissom yelled for medical help.

They had all seen the blood on the doctor's hand, and now the area was alive with activity. One of the rescue crew ran past them with a hand saw.

"Nick?" Greg asked with a slight tremor in his voice.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, he nodded, "It's going to be okay Greggo."

The sound of the saw's motor assaulted their ears.

Catherine looked toward the one person she always looked to for impartiality and detachment at a crime scene. He was currently appeared anything but impartial and detached, and the blonde was suddenly extremely concerned about her boss.

--/--

"You're doing great Sara. They're almost done," Grissom offered encouragement.

"Grissom, I'm not doing anything, I'm just lying here, and I'm not four," she told him, and jerked slightly when a sudden noise started behind her. She tried to look at what they were doing, but was stopped by Grissom's words.

"Sara, just focus on me," he begged.

"Ok, but actually talk to me like you know me. I'm not a victim," her words held no animosity.

It was a request Grissom understood. "It looks like _you're_ going to cancel the rock climbing trip this time," he teased her. Glancing up, he saw Mackenzie stabilizing the beam before they began cutting it. He nodded in approval toward the man, and felt slightly relieved that he was the one making sure it didn't move. Whatever jealousy he originally felt had disappeared without his knowledge, and was glad there was an individual on the team that seemed to care deeply for Sara.

"It's ok. I just wanted an excuse to look at your ass," she told him.

Smiling he brought her hand up to his mouth to kiss it. "I didn't know that was a perk of the sport."

She was about to answer when her hand tightened in his.

"What? What is it?" he asked looking at her and then up to the surgeon, who was lying on her stomach watching the shrapnel.

"It hasn't moved as far as I can tell," she returned, and placed her hand near Sara's hip.

Sara was silent, her eyes squeezed tight, trying to focus on anything but the horrible sound of the hand saw.

"It's the vibration, she can feel the vibration of the saw through the metal and wood," Dr. Roarke finally concluded. She was clearly unsure if the problem was one she should be concerned with. Glancing up she noted the left side of the beam was almost detached.

A spark of anger flared within Grissom. He had no idea who it was directed toward. She had survived an abusive father, an unstable mother, countless foster homes, a lab explosion, a house collapsing in on her, and now it appeared as if a 3 cm piece of metal was going to stump the rescue workers.

"Why did I study bugs?" he asked himself quietly wishing he had chosen explosive search and rescue and carpentry. He would have gladly given everything he considered successful in his life if he just knew the answer to this one situation.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, think of the bugs, they didn't have a choice," Sara's voice answered his rhetorical question.

"Are you ok?" he asked ignoring her humor, relieved she was talking again.

Nodding slightly, she took a shallow breath. "It was vibrating my entire bone. It felt strange. Like when you hit your funny bone."

"Only throughout your entire body?" he asked trying to take her lead on the humor, hoping to keep her mind off of everything but him.

"Exactly," she supplied.

"It's almost there!" Matt yelled.

Grissom watched the care everyone took at making sure nothing moved once the saw broke through the opposite side of the beam. He almost wanted to look away, expecting someone to get their hand cut or worse. They were all confident in their colleague's ability to know where everyone was.

In a very anticlimactic moment the saw stopped, and the wood was lifted easily out of sight.

Dr. Roarke stood, and stepped over Sara to get a better look at the situation. Her expression was grim. "We need to remove it completely from the wood," she explained.

"We have a blow torch," a voice supplied.

"How quickly can you melt through it? It's going to heat up the entire thing," she asked.

Sara shivered slightly at the thought.

Grissom quickly shifted so he was lying on his chest, and eye level with her. Matching her posture, he rested his head on his hand shielding his skin from the sharp debris.

"You cut your hand," she observed the blood, now dried, on his hand.

"Yeah, I started digging without gloves," he explained.

She nodded understanding the panic she would have felt if their roles had been reversed. "How's your head?" she asked, her eyes remaining locked on his.

"I'm ok Sara," he told her.

Silenced descended on the pair for a moment.

"You want to give up bugs," she finally asked.

"No I want to keep you," he confessed honestly. "I want to have the knowledge needed to save you."

A small grunt escaped her lips, and she started to look down to where the pain emanating, but Grissom stopped her. "Keep your eyes on me, this is going to be over soon," he told her.

"When did you get so positive Grissom?" she asked, with a small smile.

He returned her smile. "Since I fell in love with you," he told her, his voice carrying the emotional truth.

Her brow creased with pain. "It's hot," she told him.

"They're almost done," he promised again.

"Got it!" someone shouted as Sara felt a weight suddenly leave her.

"Ok, get that stretcher over here, no one move her," the doctor ordered confidently.

Activity continued around them, but Grissom refused to let her think about what was going on. "You're about to get a free vacation," he announced.

"Hmm, to beautiful Desert Springs Hospital. I'm not staying there," she told him.

"Let's argue about that once they've removed all foreign objects from your body," he explained.

"Deal," was her only answer before she felt people working on her.

Grissom finally stole a glance behind him, and was shocked to see the large amount of blood that had pooled beneath her. The paramedics were securing rolled towel along the length of her legs, and were tying them together so they would move as one unit, and not dislodge the twisted metal that was screaming at him.

Sara saw the terror flash over his face, and knew it was bad. "Grissom?" she asked quietly.

Looking back, he regretted looking away. She had sensed his concern. "It's ok. I was just upset that you ripped these pants. They cost me a lot of money," he told her.

"I told you, you have to pay for quality," she explained.

"No I didn't," he told her and leaned over to kiss her again. After he pulled away, he saw the backboard being placed behind her, and a c-collar moving toward her neck. "I'm going to get out of the way, but I'll be close," he promised, stood, and moved back a foot, allowing the paramedics just enough room to work.

Sensing he wasn't alone, he glanced over his shoulder and saw the rest of his team behind him. "Hey guys, she's going to be ok," he explained.

"There's a lot of blood," Greg noted, his eyes had been drawn to the pool of red.

They all heard a small moan laced with pain, and were drawn to Sara, as they rolled her onto the back board. Once she was strapped in, they quickly lifted her onto the stretcher.

"Pulse is thready, she's in hypovoleamic shock," one of the EMTs said.

Grissom looked toward Dr. Roarke, and followed her as the group pushed past him, "Doctor?"

"We need to stop the bleeding. She needs blood and fluids, both of which I can give in the ambulance on the way to Desert Springs," she informed him before jumping into the rescue squad. "I'm sorry but there's no room for you in here. We need to work. Meet us there," the doors closed before Gil could respond.

He was forced to watch the rig drive off, and he wondered if he was ever going to hold Sara again. "I need to go…I need a ride," he mumbled unable to remember where his vehicle was, or how to get to the hospital.

"Come on. We're all heading that way," Nick explained motioning his boss toward their SUVs.

TBC…


	7. Waiting

**A/N:** As always huge thanks to Aus for the beta read. Also, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing!

Slight references to another fic of mine "An ecdysiast, a party and a confession"

Chapter 7 - Waiting

Using the lights and sirens, Nick was able to catch up to the ambulance, and stay with it all the way to the hospital.

Grissom remained silent for the entire trip.

He continued to stare at the back of the rescue squad as the doors swung open and a team of emergency room personnel helped pull the stretcher out. He felt like he was watching a nightmare play out in front of him. A floating sensation gripped him. A breeze hit his face, and he felt a touch on his shoulder. Glancing toward his right, he realized Catherine had opened his door. "Are we there?" he asked unable to process his environment.

She offered him a concerned smile, and nodded her head. "Yeah, come on, we'll need to fill out some paperwork," she explained, motioning toward the doors that slid open, allowing the medical crew entrance as they hastily moved Sara inside.

The younger CSIs flanked their boss as they entered the organized chaos of the ER.

Grissom knew that the bay had to be noisy based on the activity around him, but he heard none of it as the blood rushed through his ears. He caught a flash of movement as he watched Sara disappear through another set of doors. He moved to follow, but was stopped.

Glancing down he saw Catherine's hand on his arm again. His eyes trailed up her arm to her face. Her lips were moving, but he couldn't hear her. He closed his eyes, offering up a silent prayer, shook his head, and opened his eyes. In a rush, noise assaulted his senses.

"…can't go there. Let them work," Catherine was explaining.

Nodding he looked around him. "Yeah," he answered, and headed for the front desk.

A kind face greeted him, looking out of place in the environment. "Can I help you?" the young nurse asked.

Grissom cleared his throat. "Yeah, they, ah, they just brought in my…Sara Sidle. She works for the crime lab. She was involved in the explosion tonight," he explained awkwardly.

Offering a sympathetic smile, she handed him a clip board. "We heard about it over dispatch. Are you her supervisor?" she asked.

Glancing at the paperwork, he nodded.

"Does she have any next of kin?"

Looking into her eyes, he shook his head. "I have power of attorney," he explained.

Satisfied, she pointed to some chairs. "Fill that out, and the doctor will be out to see you when she can," she spoke softly. "There's some coffee in our break room if you need it," she told him knowingly.

Offering his thanks, he headed for the chairs.

--/--

Nick rubbed his neck as he cracked it. Catching a glimpse of the admit nurse heading their way, he looked toward his boss.

Grissom was leaning forward, head resting in his hands. Nick, placed a hand on Grissom's knee. "Gris," he spoke softly, getting his attention.

Looking up, he saw Nick nodding in front of the group. Shifting his focus, he saw the nurse standing in front of him. Standing quickly, he searched her uniform for her name tag. "Nurse Nelson," he started.

"Call me Marta," she instructed. "They brought Ms. Sidle up to the OR. The waiting room on the third floor is more comfortable."

"What's her condition?" he asked hopeful for information.

Smiling her encouragement she nodded toward the elevators. "All I know is that they weren't running when they headed toward the elevators. Around here, that's a good sign," she offered.

"Thank you Marta," he said, and headed for the elevator, the CSI night shift in tow.

--/--

"What's taking so long?" Greg asked, his frustration mounting.

Nick looked up at the clock on the wall. "It's only been an hour Greggo. When have you known Sara to make any process easy?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Grissom allowed a small smile to cross his concerned features. "Never," he responded honestly and stood.

Catherine re-entered the room with a beverage carrier full of coffee. "I had to go down the street to find decent cappuccino," she announced handing out the cups. As Grissom took his, she looked into his eyes, hoping to find out how he was truly holding up. "Brass called. Everyone at the police and fire department are pulling for her."

Nodding his mind replayed the events that landed them all there. "Are they all still out at the crime scene?" he asked her.

"Yeah, they just recovered Foster's body. They got word that O'Donnell his here, and in stable condition," she filled them all in.

Nodding, he rubbed the back of his head, hitting the tender bump he had all but forgotten about.

Noting the wince, the blonde moved around to examine the area. "That's a pretty big lump Gil," she informed him. "You should get it looked at."

Brushing her hand away he shook his head. "It's fine. I just need some aspirin," he explained.

They all recognized the tone that warned them all he had very little patience left. He turned and sat back down, daring anyone to challenge him.

"Sara's gonna be pissed at you if your brain explodes," Greg said under his breath.

Glaring at the youngest CSI, he couldn't help but smile again. "My brain is not going to explode Greg," he informed him.

"Cite your source," Nick returned.

Sighing loudly, Grissom allowed himself to relax slightly for his team's sake. "Common sense."

Warrick smiled, "Tell that to Sara. Remember the case where she refused to give up on the bamboo stick? She walked around the lab with it for almost a full day trying to figure out why it was at the crime scene."

Greg chuckled, "Yeah she almost knocked Jimmy out in the hallway."

"What about the case she was convinced you had discovered spontaneous human combustion?" Nick threw back.

"She kept me on my toes that entire case," Warrick commented. "See Gris, sometimes common sense makes you miss things."

"We can't all be as stubborn as her," Gil agreed, and allowed the conversation to continue as they discussed the moments that made them all respect their colleague.

While the soft laughter filled the room, he looked up at the clock. Fear made him wonder if they would have only memories of the woman he loved.

--/--

Nearly an hour later, the team all found themselves in the same room, waiting for news.

"Hey Greg, whatever happened to that eunuch?" Nick asked, laughter caught in his throat.

Greg glared at the Texan. "It was an ecdysiast, and she was convicted of murder last month."

Remembering the case Grissom realized that was the night their relationship began. Memories of the night ran unbidden through his mind. It had turned out to be one of the best birthdays on record.

"Who spiked the punch?" Warrick asked, having forgotten about the party.

"Yeah Greg, who emptied a bottle of rum into the punch," Grissom asked knowingly.

Knowing he was caught, his face turned red. "How did you know boss?"

"I printed the bottle the next day," he explained, but before he could elaborate Dr. Roarke walked in.

All noise in the room stopped, and they waited expectantly for an update.

Without hesitation, the doctor looked at Gil, "Dr. Grissom, Ms. Sidle is being moved to ICU. She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to repair the damage done to the artery."

"But she'll be alright?" Nick asked with concern.

Looking at the group Allison wanted to provide good news, but needed to make sure she didn't give them false hope. "She's stable now. The next 24 hours will be critical."

"Can I see her?" Grissom asked.

"I suggest you all go home and get some rest. She's sedated, and isn't expected to wake until the morning," the doctor responded not answering his question.

"I want to stay with her," he explained more urgently.

Nodding curtly, she turned to leave. "I'll let the nurses know you'll need a cot."

"Thank you doctor," he exhaled, relieved.

"I'll check on you both in the morning," she informed him.

--/--

Grissom sat in his chair next to Sara's bed, watching the morning light move its way across the room.

Despite the nurses urging, he had not slept a minute. He had felt the need to watch the slight rise and fall of Sara chest the entire night. His emotions were in turmoil. He wished he had been able to talk her out of the search and rescue training or even attempting the recovery, but in his heart he knew he would have been unable to change her mind; and that in and of itself was one of the many reasons he loved her.

Ryan Foster was alive because of her, and Derek O'Donnell didn't die alone. His last thought made him realize she had been through emotional trauma as well as her physical injuries.

Leaning in, he took her hand. Concern filled him, wanting her to wake up, but unsure she was ready to cope.

His thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice.

"Dr. Grissom. How's she doing this morning?" Dr. Roarke asked.

Leaning back, he released Sara's hand and ran his fingers through his hair. "Still asleep," he explained, frustration evident.

Glancing through the chart, Allison nodded. "Well, the extra rest will help her body recovery faster," commented, and looked up at the exhausted man in front of her, and then to the pristine cot across the room. "It would do you some good as well."

"Yeah. I just want to be here when she wakes up," he explained.

Placing the clip board back on the hook at the foot of the bed, she walked around the bed, and lifted Sara's blankets to examine her sutures.

Craning his neck, he caught sight of an angry contusion beneath the gauze. Realizing the immediate threat was over; he had a new fear growing, "Is there any permanent damage?"

Securing the bandages, Allison lowered the blankets. "She'll need physical therapy, but there didn't appear to be any nerve damage. I'm more concerned about her blood loss," she answered honestly.

Swallowing hard, Grissom looked at the face of his sleeping girlfriend. "Is she not out of the woods yet?" he asked standing up.

"We'll need to assess her status after she wakes up," Dr. Roarke explained, turning around, and nearly colliding with him. Noticing the growing fear in his eyes, she laid a hand on his forearm, "She should waking soon, and then we'll go from there."

"Yeah," he breathed, and stepped out of her way.

Squeezing his arm, she smiled, "I'll check in on her in an hour. You should get some sleep."

Sinking into his chair, he watched the sun slide across Sara's face, highlighting every scrap and bruise.

Leaning forward, he took her hand in both of his, and he watched the slight rise and fall of her chest.

TBC…


	8. Happily Ever After

**A/N: **To all my faithful readers. This will be my last fanfiction. My life is taking me in a different direction, and I am working on an inspirational/theological book that should be published by Christmas. I felt compelled to finish this for your sakes. It's been fun, and your encouragement has made every story a joy to post.

**Chapter 8 – Happily Ever After**

Sara heard, saw, felt, and tasted white noise. She felt as if static had surrounded her, and she wanted nothing more than to turn it off. Finding a pocket of darkness she was pulled to it, but a tug on her hand stopped her. There was a reason why she should fight through the pain; she just couldn't remember what. Turning one last time toward the darkness, something in the fabric of her being drove her away from the peace the blackness offered to discover the promise that she knew laid beyond the pain.

The first real feeling she could identify was an ache in her throat. She tried to swallow, but it only made it worse. Turning her head, she felt a tug at the side of her mouth.

A low mumble filtered through her right ear. She recognized that they were words, but not their meaning.

Attempting to shift slightly, a pain she had not noticed radiating from her left hip, shot up to her heart.

Groaning, she felt a cool touch on her forehead.

"Sara," a voice called out to her. "Don't move. Dr. Roarke is coming."

'_Don't move. Got it, I already figured that one out Grissom,'_ she thought without realizing she recognized the voice. Remaining still for a moment, her brain caught up with her thoughts, _'Grissom? He's in the static?'_

"Sara, can you open you eyes?" a sweet voice asked her.

'_Why would I want to do that when it's so bright with my eyes closed,'_ she thought sarcastically, but decided to try. _'If this is as bad as moving, whoever you are, you'll be sorry for suggesting this.'_

Testing the waters, she managed to open her eye lids a crack. They fluttered at the resistance. To her surprise the brightness dissipated the wider her eyes opened.

Searching the room, Sara tried to assess where she was without moving her head. Catching a glimpse of a silhouette to her right, she allowed her head to roll slowly until she found her self eye to eye with the man she loved.

"Hey there," he said, his words carrying an impossible level of relief. "Don't try to talk until they take the tube out."

Bring her hand up, she felt like there was a great weight strapped around her wrist. Feeling the tube, and tape, she pleaded with him with her eyes, and signed the word "now" one letter at a time with her fingers.

He chuckled softly, "You're in no position to make demands."

Glaring at him, she rolled her head back to find a familiar face looking at her.

"Hi Sara. Do you remember me? I'm Dr. Allison Roarke. I was at the crime scene," the petite woman explained. "I need to listen to your lungs, and then we can take the intubation tube out."

Nodding, Sara was willing to endure whatever she had to, to be free from the device. Waiting patiently, her eyes drifted shut as she processed the events that landed her in the hospital. She had joked around with Grissom while she was pinned in the rubble, but the fear had been deeply rooted, and some residual feelings lingered.

"Hey, hey, no sleeping," Grissom misinterpreted her actions. "You just took a 17 hour nap."

Her eyes opened, she hadn't realized he'd been waiting so long for her to come around. Signing quickly//You look like crap. Did you sleep/

Looking up at the doctor, Grissom reminded her of a child who been caught.

"Ok, ready?" Allison asked, clearly oblivious to the private conversation.

Sara offered a slight nod.

"Alright, I want you to blow out on 3," the doctor instructed, while she removed the medical tape, disconnected the ventilator, and gripped the end of the plastic. "1, 2, 3, blow."

Sara completed the task as asked, and found herself coughing uncontrollably. Tears stung her eyes, as pain racked her body.

Grissom was instantly at her side. If he got any closer to her, he would have been lying in her bed. Taking some ice chips Dr. Roarke offered, Grissom brought one to her lips. "Here honey. This will make your throat feel better," he explained stroking her hair.

Allowing the ice to melt slowly in her mouth, Sara closed her eyes. Grissom's touch comforted her, and she let herself relax slightly.

Noting the time the tube was removed on Sara's chart, Allison looked through the medication record, "How's the pain management?"

Clearing her throat, Sara thought about the question and her pain. "That depends," she started slowly. "How drugged am I right now?"

Smiling knowingly, Allison wrote on the chart again, "You're due for some more vicodin in an hour. We can change the prescription to percocet. Do you think you need Tylenol in the meantime?"

"Please," she asked. Now that she was aware of the pain in her hip, it was growing exponentially.

Grissom looked on with concern, but remained silent.

Allison pushed the call button, and requested a nurse to administer the drugs. "Ok, I also need to run through some basic neuro tests to determine if you've suffered any serious side affects from shock and loss of blood," she explained matter of factly.

"Sounds like I missed some drama," Sara answered, glancing at Grissom. The events after they had freed her were fuzzy at best.

Taking her hand, Grissom brought it to his lips as he remembered the turmoil they had all experienced. "I'm going to step out and call the gang while the doctor checks you over for brain damage," he teased lightly.

"It was only a matter of time," Sara told him pointing to her head with a slight smile. She watched him turn awkwardly and leave the room.

"He cares a great deal for you," Dr. Roarke's voice caused Sara to turn her attention back to the woman standing over her.

"Yeah, that or he's just naturally socially awkward," she replied.

"Ok Sara. I want you to remember these three words: train, book, insect, and coffee cup. Got'em?" Allison asked and proceeded after receiving a nod. Handing her patient a clip board and pen she continued, "The first page is a blank clock. I want you to fill in the numbers and draw the hands to indicate 7:35."

Feeling slightly like a child, Sara complied with the request.

--/--

Enduring an hour of simple tests involving her coordination, reflexes, eye movement, touch, and taste Sara felt exhausted. The Tylenol that had been administered mid test, was only modestly suppressing the pain.

"So I'm assuming no brain damage? How about the leg?" she asked a distant fear coloring her words.

Finishing her notes, the surgeon looked up. "You're in for some intense physical therapy, but you should be good as new in a couple months. Just stay out of collapsing buildings, and you'll make it," she explained returning the clip board to the foot of the bed. "The nurse should be in here shortly with the percocet."

Nodding, she closed her eyes. "Got it, no collapsing buildings and drugs are on the way."

"They'll be moving you out of recovery this morning. Until then no more than two visitors at a time," Allison instructed.

Sara opened her eyes in confusion. _'When were there more than two people in here?'_ she asked herself. Following the doctor's gaze toward the door, she noticed a crowd hovering. Smiling Sara nodded toward the night shift crew, "You're all gonna have to draw straws to see you gets to come in."

Greg nodded to his right, "Actually, there's a really hot nurse over there. I can wait."

Grissom glared, Sara smiled.

As if on cue a young blonde entered the room.

Greg squirmed uncomfortably, "Hey, the nurse—"

"—is not interested," she interrupted. "But I do have some percocet for Ms. Sidle."

Moving toward the door, Dr. Roarke addressed the group. "She'll be asleep in about twenty minutes. You can all come after 3 p.m., and she'll be moved to the general admissions floor. No rules on numbers down there, and they have nurses too," she finished her gaze drifting to Greg as she left the area.

"We're all really glad you're ok Sar," Nick told her from the door.

His actions made her smile. "I think standing and shouting in the doorway counts as a visitor as well," she teased her eyelids already feeling heavy. "Thanks for being here guys."

Hearing a chorus of well wishing, Sara watched as each one of her friends turned, leaving Grissom standing alone, outlined by the fluorescent light from the hallway.

He watched the rest of his team walk toward the elevators, and turned to find Sara studying him. "What?"

"You need sleep," she told him.

Walking up to her bed, he sat on the edge taking her hand. "They brought me a cot," he explained, and then showed her his hospital band. "They weren't going to let me stay all night, so I convinced Dr. Roarke I needed to be admitted for a mild concussion."

"Wow, she seemed so much smarted than that. I'm surprised she fell for it," Sara noted.

Shrugging, he leaned in and kissed her forehead, "She wasn't the problem. It was Nurse Ratchet on the night shift. Allison helped me find the loop hole."

"Ah, partners in crime," she formulated, her eyes drifting shut. "You should sleep."

"As soon as you do," he promised.

She took his hand, and smiled. "I love you," she whispered softly.

A smile lit up his entire face. "Marry me," he whispered back.

Shock gave way to a joy she didn't know was possible. "Marry you?" Sara asked and watched him nod his head like a little boy at Christmas. "I'd be honored."

--/--

Sara watched Grissom turn the corner toward his town house. "I thought we were going to stop by my apartment first," she asked him in confusion.

Reaching across the armrest, he took her hand in his. "It's been taken care," he told her with a wink.

Fighting the smile that she was sure was a permanent fixture on her face, she turned to look out the window. "I don't know that I trust your ability to coordinate my clothes."

"I thought you'd be more grateful to be out of the hospital after a week and a half," he teased her.

Pulling into the driveway, Sara wasn't surprised to see familiar cars parked along the street. Greg was opening her door before Grissom had the car in park. "Easy Greg, we just left the hospital," she warned him, taking his offered hand.

Leaning heavily on her friend, she used her cane in her free hand to steady her.

Grissom ran up to the door, and opened it for the pair.

Sara could sense the two men were overly excited, and it was starting to concern her. Before she could ask what they were up to, she heard a roar of "welcome homes". Scanning the familiar faces of the night shift, she noticed the living room looked different. "Hey, that's my chair," she commented, touched Grissom thought to go to the effort to move her chair. Stairs weren't an option for her for at least a month and they agreed she would stay with him.

The crowd made way for her, and she sank into her favorite chair. Then she noticed the framed picture of her brother, several movies that she knew were hers, her plant, and all her books. She looked at her fiancée but was unsure what to say in the presence of their coworkers.

Greg, for his part, was too excited to worry about tact. "We moved all your stuff here!"

Grissom leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "They know," he whispered in her ear.

Surprised, Sara looked quickly from Grissom to Nick, and then to Greg, who was bouncing with anticipation. "I figured it out!" he told her.

"Yeah? Was it when he kissed her, or when you found out he proposed?" Warrick asked him sarcastically.

Sara shook her head while she processed the information. They knew they were engaged.

"Na ah, it was before she even went to the crime scene…"

She heard Greg talking, but wasn't listening to him. "They _know_, know?"

Catherine laughed, "Yeah well when he showed up to the lab with that goofy grin for the second night, it was pretty easy to figure out."

Grissom searched her face, hoping she wasn't angry.

"So we can car pool now?" she asked him lightly and kissed him on the lips.

Nick handed her a champagne glass. "Don't worry, it's nonalcoholic. Don't want you mixing those drugs…" he explained.

Laughter filled the room. Greg flipped on the radio, only to be pushed away by Warrick, who took control. Nick ran out to the patio to check on the grill, and Grissom slid onto the arm of her chair. Leaning back he draped his arm around her, and listened to Catherine explaining her interrogation technique she had used on him.

Sara leaned her head against his chest laughing, and he instantly knew if nothing good ever happened to him again he would be the happiest man that ever lived.

THE END


End file.
